I just wonder sometimes if things are really 'meant to be' or if that's just some sort of sick way of justifying whatever fucked up thing happened so that you don't feel worse than you already do. Like me spilling a cup of coffee on myself earlier was 'meant to be'? What could have possibly been fate about that?
Truth is, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, where I'm going, or even who I am sometimes. Who am I in a world of billions of people. Why am I confined to this one place when all I want is to meet different people and see different places? Is it fate? Is there some ultimate goal I need to achieve before the man upstairs lets me get to the next level? I don't want to play fucking tetris and put the pieces together, I want it all now...I want to figure out what I'm doing before I drive myself up a wall, out the door and into my next life.
(this is called impulse writing)
I need some kind of reassurance here. Like you can't put me on this earth without even a fucking compass. hOW is THat sUppOsed to WWWWORK??
