The Calming Man

The Calming Man

Glass pipe

looks like

Snow White

that night

lost mind

thoughts grind

crazy twisted eyes

twinkling skies

then its over

bulldozer

storm rolls over

i turn over

banging chest 

my heart he keeps

my head gets heavy

and i sleep

stealing
appealing
i stare up at the ceiling

moaning
loathing
enemies approaching

high
i sigh
i know he lives a lie

heat
sweet
smiling at defeat

one
two
that's my cue

rising sun
im done
feeling this fucking dumb.

Roadtrips

Don't wanna die young
So much to accomplish and haven't done
As we drive this long stretch of road
Sunshine beaming down hope filled rays, gold
The music flows through the car
Out the window, and leaves our mark
permanent in the old, black tar.

floating

soft sounds inspire me
the wrong guys desire me

gives me anxiety
it's twisted
i miss it
and the thrill is something mystic

tough skin
hold it in

more sins

i love you
i hate you
i need a fucking space suit

....up, up, away it is....
the bass blasting like metal trash bins

spacey
you still amaze me
fascinating
why am i still debating

drown you out
i won't pout
leave me be
to my own doubts

regrets?
upset.

call it truce?
cut me loose.

lusting?
so many lies, disgusting.

my own eyes
twinkling fireflies
moonlit sky
guides you through the night

put up a fight
drift away like a paper kite

up, up and away
moving forward
always thankful for a brand new day

Test.

Push me up against the wall
Inside a bright lit bathroom stall
Tell me you love me
Seal it with a kiss
Onehundredtwentyseconds
young innocent bliss
We lock eyes
Searching each others souls
...spies...
We both know the dangers
We fuck up and were reduced to strangers

With one last look, it's the end of the day
Thats when we both let go, walk away...

Messy words

Im not a hoe
Not one to be disposed
One up on you
Shit you'll never know
I can't believe
You tried to deceive
That's cool 
I'll forget it 
My world isn't just you
Too bad I used to trust you 
I'll light one up in your honor
Burn like the sun in the summer

I need my space
Wander off to an unknown place
Maybe I could run away
Come back on a Sunday 
rest fuck that
I'll put myself to the test 
20 mgs adderall
All night to think about my regrets and downfalls
Get high and spin
Put myself together with safety pins
Tell me the truth
Should I refuse
Got a heart
But I'm playing cards with a noob

Grow up 
Grow tall
Gain everything
Lose it all 
Takes a day 
Only one word to say 
the person you can't be without
No water and you have a drought 
Faucet without a spout
Tree with no leaves 
Sadness spreads like a disease
Soft musics the only thing to please

I don't like the way you say my name 
I just wanna bitch scream complain
I don't say it outloud so it stays in my head
Now I'm reading everything I said
Wrote it down and it's a jumble
I'll say it under my breath, soft mumble
Left my heart on my sleeve
Now shits fucked wouldnt you agree?
A mess of everything unseen 
Don't analyze and try to figure out what I mean 
You'll understand the mess my brain is in
Not letting anyone else in. 

recipe for disaster

showers wash off the day's pain
the days rage
turn a new page
ditch the old life, strive for change
take a plunge
immerse yourself in a new day
sad for now
but those feelings go away
foolish for breaking down the wall
another slip trip and fall
im done losing time
pupils dilated trying to solve that crime
i write to get things out of my head
thoughts way me down like bricks of lead
in my veins things feel crazy
now i'm focused before i was lazy
life is unfair, could have given me a manual
feeling like these create dangerous animals
anything sexual is based on lies
you say sorry, gave you too many tries
bury the past
create bonds that last
this is fake shit, i'm not a weak bitch
just a brief fucked up glitch
the clouds are parting
i can see the light
no need to cry
good future in sight.