Messy words

Im not a hoe
Not one to be disposed
One up on you
Shit you'll never know
I can't believe
You tried to deceive
That's cool 
I'll forget it 
My world isn't just you
Too bad I used to trust you 
I'll light one up in your honor
Burn like the sun in the summer

I need my space
Wander off to an unknown place
Maybe I could run away
Come back on a Sunday 
rest fuck that
I'll put myself to the test 
20 mgs adderall
All night to think about my regrets and downfalls
Get high and spin
Put myself together with safety pins
Tell me the truth
Should I refuse
Got a heart
But I'm playing cards with a noob

Grow up 
Grow tall
Gain everything
Lose it all 
Takes a day 
Only one word to say 
the person you can't be without
No water and you have a drought 
Faucet without a spout
Tree with no leaves 
Sadness spreads like a disease
Soft musics the only thing to please

I don't like the way you say my name 
I just wanna bitch scream complain
I don't say it outloud so it stays in my head
Now I'm reading everything I said
Wrote it down and it's a jumble
I'll say it under my breath, soft mumble
Left my heart on my sleeve
Now shits fucked wouldnt you agree?
A mess of everything unseen 
Don't analyze and try to figure out what I mean 
You'll understand the mess my brain is in
Not letting anyone else in.